Love Yourself

Feb 10

When you think of the word LOVE, what comes to mind?

For many of us, it is those thoughts, feelings, and sensations that we attribute to Valentine’s Day: all of the good, positive, bubbly qualities that will fuel certain interactions on February 14th. The twitterpation, the warmth and coziness, the total abandon of everything except adoration, appreciation, and care for the one(s) to whom our love is directed.

“Love is patient, love is kind…” comes to mind, along with the other messages that we have received about this four-letter, punch-drunk word which is as powerful, common-place and perhaps as misunderstood as the words and, but, then, now, and I; or perhaps as misunderstood as the story of St. Valentine himself.

The word is as common as the air we breathe; almost as though it flows through our veins. While it is not a chemical or element that can be found in our bodies, love does have a direct impact on our bodies’ ability to function. And it is for this reason that we need to understand its purpose and function, beyond the warmth and coziness that many will experience on Valentine’s Day.

Is love a matter of the head or the heart?

I am not here to answer that question for you. You get to choose, and it does not have to be all one way or the other. It can be both/and, one of the things I love the most about this existence . . . See what I did there?

Here is what simple science has to say about it: without a heartbeat, there cannot be life. If the heart goes, the brain will follow shortly behind. Life is precious, is it not? As for the head and the heart, they depend on each other and cannot be separated even when it comes to topics such as love.

It is being found that the heart has “a little-brain” and that it processes information nearly a full second before the brain does. Yes, our hearts have their own central nervous system that communicates directly with our brains, and science is proving that our heart dictates brain functions, especially as they relate to emotions and intuitions. How in the world does this have anything to do with love? Love truly is a concern of the heart - if only for a second - before it is a matter of the brain. Our hearts’ racings, palpitations, and butterflies (all of which will be experienced in high volume on Friday) are matters of the heart.

Now, to the meat of it: how can we ever truly love others until we know how to truly love ourselves?

Our vessels of love are so regularly emptied dry for the sake of others; for some of us it takes getting to our breaking points before we choose to fuel back up. This cycle looks differently for each of us, because life looks differently for each of us.

(By the way, your heart processed that last sentence before your brain did.)

Love for others, whether it is familial, platonic, or romantic, is positively correlated to heart and brain health, with side effects including hope, purpose, and community. But this love for others, how deep can it go, how real can it be, until we are able to practice it with ourselves?

How do you practice self-love?

If you do not have any set practices, here are a few ideas:

Go on a walk
Meditate
Stand on your front porch and take a deep breath in
Eat something nutritious… maybe take yourself out to dinner on Valentine’s Day
Allow yourself to take a nap
Stand barefoot in the grass
Show some love to someone else. Yes, doing for others is a form of self-love. Boundaries are paramount in all things. More on this at a later time.
Get a massage
Dance and/or sing without restraint
Find a professional to talk to
Put your hands in a bucket of dirt. (Yes!!! I am so excited to share the benefits of doing this in a later blog.)
Repeat after me: “I am worthy of love. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of love.”