Grief, the Thief. . .
Before we just jump right into a topic that is naturally programmed to be difficult, challenging, and heavy, I believe it is appropriate for us to take a moment to brace ourselves. This is a topic that can usher a whole spectrum of emotions that may change from one moment to the next. So, however it is that you brace yourself, here is your opportunity.
And uh-one, and uh-two . . .
Grief?
It is the experience of loss and, much like life itself, we will each experience it in our own way.
When we hear or read the word, we may be quickly reminded of having lost someone that we loved deeply. Perhaps it was the loss of someone to whom we were not as close, but we experienced an impact to some degree. Grief also spans beyond human connection: it can also refer to the loss of employment, a home, an animal, personal rights, or the empathetic, vicarious experience of someone else’s loss even though they may live on the other side of the world and we have never met them before.
And there seems to be more of this each day as our lived experience becomes ever more globalized. To add, we also grieve things that have not yet happened. This is called anticipatory grief and it, too, has the capability of rattling us, shaking us to our core. All forms of grief have the ability to impact us physically, mentally, and/or spiritually. It is not just “in your head,” or something that you can just snap out of.
But doesn’t it feel like that is the expectation at times?
Whether we are getting it from others, or whether we are putting it on ourselves, the “just get over it” mentality assumes a house fire can be put out with a single bucket of water.
That is not the case. And you know that, don’t you? Back to an earlier point, we will each experience loss in our way, because we are each connected to the thing or person that was lost in our own way.
And yes, it can get ugly at times.
It can spill over onto others.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, each moving at their own pace and in their own way for each of us, in isolation and in public settings - making for a difficult situation that is as old as time itself.
Yes, living and loss are synonymous. We cannot escape it.
“Life is hard.”
Another adage that is heaped onto what can feel like an inferno of emotions in the experience of loss.
Grief sucks.
This is our experience, though.
There is no single or simple remedy to the pain that may exist in the face of your loss. It is not something that we can just get over, but we CAN GET THROUGH.
This takes hard work. It takes dedication. It takes commitment to self and to those who remain; and, among many other things, it may take reaching out for support.
In this grieving experience, YOU get to decide how it looks, picking up the pieces of what remains, and moving forward.
This is not a simple task. Please don’t suffer in silence.
There are support groups, individual counseling and other community resources available for those who are grieving. Connection is key. There are also things that you can engage in that will support in processing loss. These include
journaling
creating art
exercise
spending time in nature
a memory box
meditating
At Hatchie Mental Health, we offer a grief support group on the last Monday of each month.
One-on-one support is available as well.
Our hearts go out to the residents of Tipton County and to the students of Munford High School due to the tragic loss of life last week. Grieving takes on a whole new complexity when it is accompanied with confusion and questioning. We are here to support you in this time. This month’s grief group will be dedicated to those impacted by suicide. Reach out today to register.
Be well and be kind to yourself.
